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ACTUAL EMAIL 04.08.13

From: Diane Lime
Sent: Monday, April 08, 2013 12:18 PM
To: Jeff Terry
Subject: are you. . .

. . . Catholic?

(Need to do some audience testing.)

 

From: Jeff Terry
Sent: Monday, April 08, 2013 12:18 PM
To: Diane Lime
Subject: RE: are you. . .

In theory, yes.

 

From: Diane Lime
Sent: Monday, April 08, 2013 12:20 PM
To: Jeff Terry
Subject: RE: are you. . .

Are you familiar with this expression:

“O ye of little faith!”

From: Jeff Terry
Sent: Monday, April 08, 2013 12:26 PM
To: Diane Lime
Subject: RE: are you. . .

Yes I am.

 

From: Diane Lime
Sent: Monday, April 08, 2013 12:26 PM
To: Jeff Terry
Subject: RE: are you. . .

Do you have any associations to it?

 

From: Jeff Terry

Sent: Monday, April 08, 2013 12:41 PM
To: Diane Lime
Subject: RE: are you. . .

My association is mostly as a comeback in a movie or TV show. For example, possibly there’s a roguish renegade lawman (we’ll call him McBuffman) who is in a tight spot with his straight-laced, uptight sidekick (we’ll call him Wormy). The terrorists have them pinned down in a high rise and McBuffman has constructed a hang-glider from office furniture, and he plans on having Wormy cling to him in a very non-sexual way (perhaps we’ll have to work it into the script that this is simply out of desperation that two men must embrace chest to chest, and DEFINITELY not out of any latent sexual desire with a line from McBuffman like “Don’t get any ideas, you’re not my type!” just to reassure the homophobe demo—which comprises a shitload of this action movie’s audience, but we can talk about that later) as they jump out a 99th floor window and glide to safety. Of course, Wormy is terrified (but also a little aroused that he finally gets a chance to be chest-to-chest with McBuffman) and he says in a squeaky, emasculated way: “That’s . . . that’s just NUTS!” (note Wormy’s word choice? It’s on his mind). And McBuffman replies, his voice somehow deeper because of the stubble on his cheeks: “O ye of little faith!” before kissing the woman in the torn open blouse to his left to reassert his heterosexuality and ownership of all nearby, fertile, attractive women and leaping out the window with his sidekick on a hang-glider made mostly from his pure will and propelled by guns.

 

From: Diane Lime
Sent: Monday, April 08, 2013 12:42 PM
To: Jeff Terry
Subject: RE: are you. . .

Ah, so, a purely religious association. . . .

 

From: Jeff Terry
Sent: Monday, April 08, 2013 12:47 PM
To: Diane Lime
Subject: RE: are you. . .

Yeah, religion is second on the list of associations. If this isn’t a one-liner in a testosterone-fueled man-love fest, then it is an admonishment from God and very scary indeed. Like God is now disappointed with His creation and considering the whole “this time by fire” thing. I could see Him flip up a glass cover with the words “THIS TIME BY FIRE, BITCHES.” on it to reveal a big red button. Perhaps with gold or pearl inlays. You know, something that looks as expensive as hell. And God just sort of touches the button, feels it, weighs it, before closing the glass cover once more and thinking “Not now. Soon, but not now.”

From: Diane Lime
Sent: Monday, April 08, 2013 12:47 PM
To: Jeff Terry
Subject: RE: are you. . .

 Jeff, I have a prescription for valium. Let me know if you need some.

 

 


 

 

 


 


 

 


Posted by jeffandjill in : work, No Comments on ACTUAL EMAIL 04.08.13

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